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AOTEAROA — Maori name for New Zealand meaning Land of the Long White Cloud — Land of the Wrong White Crowd!
ARSE OVER TIT — head over heels (ass over tit)
BACH — holiday home
BARBIE — barbecue
BEVY — can of beer
BIG SMOKE — large town or city
BISCUIT, aka BIKKIE — cookie
BIT OF A DAG — hard-case joker (a bit of shit hanging on a sheep’s ass)
BLOKE — man
BLOODY NORA! — mild oath of frustration, anger, amazement, etc.
BOB’S YOUR UNCLE — “There ya go, that’s all there is to it!”
BOY RACER — young man who drives a fast car with a loud stereo; hot-rodders
BRASS YOU OFF — disappoint you, annoy you
BREKKIE — breakfast
BRICKIE — bricklayer
BROWN EYE — flash your naked butt at someone
CHER BRO — pronounced chair bro, goodbye—Cheers, brother!
CHILLY BIN — cooler, insulated box for keeping beer and food cool
CHIPPY — builder, carpenter
CHOOK — chicken
CHRISSY PRESSIES — Christmas presents
COCKIE — farmer
CODS WALLOP — untrue statement referred to as “a load of cods wallop”
COLLY WOBBLES — feeling of nausea associated with nervousness
CRIKEY! — a mild oath, euphemism for ‘Christ!’
CROOK — sick, unwell
CUPPA — a cup of tea
DARK AS A DUNNY HOLE — pitch black (dunny hole is the hole in a long drop, hole in an outdoor toilet)
DODGY — bad, unreliable, spoiled
DUNNY — toilet, bathroom, outhouse
FLASH — cool, nice, expensive, and fancy
FOOTIE — rugby
FROCK TART — someone who works on or designs or sews the costumes for the TV or movie industry (Xena: Warrior Princess, Lord of the Rings, Narnia)
FULL TIT — going very fast, running with all your power
GIVE YOUR FERRET A RUN — have sex
GOOD ON YA, MATE! — Congratulations, well done!
GUTS FOR GARTERS — in big trouble, as in “He had my guts for garters!”
HAPPY AS LARRY — very happy
HOON — young adult or teenager driving fast
JAFA — a derogatory description for anyone from Auckland — one-fourth of the NZ population! — meaning “Just Another Fucking Aucklander”
LOLLY — candy
LONG DROP — outdoor toilet, outhouse
MAD AS A MEAT AXE — very angry or crazy
MY ARSE IS A RED CABBAGE — an expression of confidence
NORTH CAPE TO THE BLUFF — from one end of New Zealand to the other
O.E. — Overseas Experience; many young people go abroad for a year or two, to work and to see the world (usually starting in London)
OTHER SIDE — Australia, the other side of the Tasman Sea
PAKEHA — non-Maori person — there are several conflicting opinions as to the literal meaning of the word—Long pig? White flea? Who knows for sure?
PIECE OF PISS — easy, not hard to do, as in “It didn’t take long to do. It was a piece of piss.”
PISSHEAD — someone who drinks a great deal of alcohol, a heavy drinker
POM or POMMY — used by speakers of New Zealand English, as well as speakers of Australian English, South African English, and Afrikaans. The Oxford English Dictionary suggests it is a contraction of “pomegranate,” an extinct rhyming slang for “immigrant”
PUDDING — any dessert, even cake or ice cream, etc., is referred to as pudding
PULL YOUR FINGER OUT! (of your ass!) —hurry up!
QUEEN STREET FARMER — city-folk who move to the rural areas and know nothing about farming. Queen Street is the main street in downtown Auckland
RATTLE YOUR DAGS — hurry up, get moving — dags are the long, excrement-encrusted wool adhering to the posterior of sheep
RELLIES — relatives
ROOT — have sex, get sex
ROUGH AS GUTS — unpolished, unsophisticated
SAMMIE — sandwich
SCARFIE — university student — from the scarves they wear with the school colors
SHEILA — slang for any woman, female
SHE’LL BE RIGHT — it will all work out, it will be OK as it is
SHIPPIE — prostitute — working the ships docked at the international port
SHOUT — to treat, to buy something for someone, as in “I will shout you lunch,” or “He shouted drinks for everybody.”
SMOKO — coffee break, or, in this case, cigarette break during work hours
SOOKIE — cry baby, wimp
SPARKIE — electrician
SPARROW FART — very early in the morning, sunrise
SPIT THE DUMMY — to throw a fit or get mad — a dummy is a “pacifier” or baby’s “fooler”
’S TRUTH — the expression ‘God’s Truth!’ is an old English phrase, still used in New Zealand, meaning ‘really!’ or ‘honestly!’
SUNNIES — sunglasses
SWEET AS! — cool! Awesome! (Be careful! We thought Maddy Jane was always saying “Sweet ass!” about nearly everything.)
TEA — evening meal, dinner
TIKI TOUR — scenic tour, to take the long route
TINNY — can of beer
TRAMPING — hiking
TWO SAMMIES SHORT OF A PICNIC — used to describe a person who is somewhat stupid (a sammie is a sandwich)
TWO-THIRDS OF FIVE-EIGTHS OF FUCK ALL — very, very little
UP THE BOOKAI SHOOTIN’ PUKEKOS WITH A LONG-HANDLED SHOVEL — just wandering around in the boondocks, in an out-of-the-way place, wandering around like an aimless fool, displaying a confused state of mind
UP THE DUFF — pregnant
WAIKIKAMUKAU — pronounced Why kick a moo cow, it refers to the back of beyond, the boondocks; and it is a play on the sound of many Maori place names; see wop-wops
WHINGE — moan and complain
WOP-WOPS — out of the way location, in the “boondocks”
YOU THINK YOU’RE A FLOWER POT ’CAUSE YOU’VE GOT A HOLE IN YOUR BUM — in love with yourself, conceited
Referenced Beauty
Cavafy, Constantine P., Ithaca, http://users.hol.gr/~barbanis/cavafy/ithaca.html
Cohen, Leonard, Who by Fire, lyrics and melody echoing the Unetaneh
Tokef, eleventh-century liturgical poem recited on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur
e. e. cummings, i thank You God for most this amazing day, from E.E. Cummings: Complete Poems, 1904–1962; Liveright, 1994.
Follmi, Buddhist Offerings: 365 Days; Thames & Hudson, Ltd. (Dec. 25 entry, Just as there is no point of darkness in the sun…)
Keats, John, On First Looking Into Chapman’s Homer, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_First_Looking_into_Chapman%27s_Homer
Keres Pueblo Song (Traditional), I add my breath to your breath…; http://shamanicliving.blogspot.com/2009/10/old-keres-pueblo-song.html - links
Lear, Edward, The Owl and the Pussycat; Edward Lear Homepage, www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/ns/pussy.html
Lu K’uan Yu, Ch’an and Zen Teaching, (To the beloved company of the stars…); Rider & Co., 1960.
Melville, Hermann, Moby Dick or The Whale, www.princeton.edu/~batke/moby/
Rumi (Jalal as-Din Muhammad Balkhi), One Vision, www.well.com/~davidu/
Sutta Nipata, Buddha’s Discourse on Goodwill, So within yourself let grow…
Wilber, Ken, conclusion of Sex, Ecology, Spirituality, (Let the world be quiet…); Shambhala Publications, Inc., 2000
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Like Mark Twain, Aaron Allbright was born in Missouri and lived there during his early years.
As a very young man, he spent three years in the Peace Corps in Sierra Leone, West Africa, and spent one more year knocking about that amazing continent and crossing the Sahara twice.
He lived nine months in Saudi Arabia; four years in Paris (France, not Texas); many years in Laguna Beach and Newport Beach, California; and for seven years, he lived in New Zealand with his companion, and now spouse, of forty-two years and counting (as of 2024). And with the two cats and two dogs that took such good care of their humans.
When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure,
full of knowledge.
—Constantine P. Cavafy